Holy or Hot? How to Make Holiness What We Really Desire [Podcast Transcript]

Title: Holy or Hot? How to Make Holiness What We Really Desire 

Podcast Date: June 30, 2022

Listen Here: 

Description

Do we want to be hot or holy? Your answer may be: Both! But the pursuit of a hotter body and the pursuit of looking more like Jesus can sometimes be competing interests. Of course, our pursuit of beauty isn't something to be ashamed of. We've been programmed to believe that our value is based on our appearance or connected to how we look. It takes a lot of faith and trust in God to break free from the world's economy of beauty. On today's show, we talk about how shifting our greatest pursuit to holiness instead of the culture's definition of beauty can transform our lives and feel the freedom in Christ that we long for. If you struggle with wanting to be hot more than you want to be holy, today's show is for you!

Here's where we go today as we discuss pursuing being hot or holy:

• How do we truly desire to be more like Jesus?
• How do we free ourselves from the mindset that an improved physical appearance gives us the most value?
• Does Hot or Holy have to be a choice?
• How do we focus on making our hearts more beautiful when culture tells us our greatest need is a better body?
• What does Jesus really ask of us in the arena of pursuing holiness?
• The Catholic Litany of Humility - and its amazing reminders of how to lay down our desires to pursue recognition, glory, praise and worship for ourselves in order to keep our focus on worshipping Jesus.
• Erin Todd's "A Former Dieters Prayer for Humility" - Erin does an amazing job re-writing the original to speak to each of the issues we face in the body image/dieting/wellness realm. Print it somewhere you can read it daily!

Outline

00:00 Introduction With A Coaching Review

04:25 Hot And Holy: Can We Serve Two Masters?

10:23 Lies From The Beauty Idol

14:01 Truth From Scripture

18:23 Working On Our Heart Beauty

23:13 Litany Of Humility for Dieters

27:38 Whose Opinion Do We Care About?

[00:00:01]:

The Compare To podcast is part of the Spark Media Network, now available on the Edify podcast app. Grab the Edify app in your Google Play Store or on the Apple Podcasts app. You will be so glad you did. 

“Hi, Heather. I did group coaching with you before COVID started, And I just wanted to reach out and say I'm just still so thankful for your books and your class. What an impact you've made. I'm able to be in my body and be comfortable, not obsessing about what other people think. I still remember how to turn the mirror away from me so I reflect Jesus.

[00:00:44]:

Since we met, I've worn my compare to who tank top on a cruise, a place where I thought I would be so busy comparing myself to others that I couldn't even enjoy myself. I am so excited to share faith and fitness with others through Revelation Wellness training I just completed, and I also just started the intuitive eating journey a few months ago. I've been working on the steps and listening to your podcast. Awesome stuff. I couldn't have done this new intuitive eating journey without my compared to who experience with you.”

Thank you for sharing your journey and all you do, Amy. Amy, I'm so excited to hear that you are still growing in your journey. Thank you for giving me permission to read that on the show.

[00:01:33]:

That is so encouraging to me that years after we work together, you are still on a path to freedom. That's my goal. That's why I do this group coaching stuff. It's not a diet. It's not a 6 week plan, and then, 2 years later, you gain it all back kinda thing. No. My hope in coaching is to set you on a trajectory towards feeling free in your body like Amy has. And, you know, I think the body image stuff has to come first.

[00:02:10]:

I don't think you can do anything to change your food or your dieting or any of those kind of practices until you feel safe, seen, known, and comfortable in your body. Otherwise, it's just too risky. It's too risky to give up calorie restriction and body size manipulation unless you know you are okay, seen and loved, approved of in your body no matter what size or shape it is. So, Amy, thanks again for that story. If you have a story or if something in this show has touched you, can I invite you to drop me an email or even better, consider leaving a review for the show? Your reviews allow other people who need this message to find the show. Yes. That's right. The more reviews there are and the more good reviews, the more people will find the show.

[00:03:06]:

So leave a review today. Press pause right now and leave a review on your podcast app or on Spotify or wherever you're listening, that would mean so much to me. Okay. Today's show, oh, friends, we're gonna go to a place you need to go with me. Okay? But you may not wanna go. And I get that because I didn't really wanna go there either. But we're gonna talk about what our hearts really desire. Do we desire to be holy or we do we desire to be hot? Or more likely, those aren't two things in juxtaposition, we desire to be hot and holy. 

[00:03:44]:

Right? But is that even possible? That's where we're gonna go today. I hope you get something out of it. And if you do, leave that review. And, hey, even better, tell a friend or two about it. Let's get our friends on the same journey out of diet culture, programming, and into body image freedom. Let's go. Welcome to Compare to Who, the podcast to help you make peace with your body so you can savor God's rest and feel his love.

Hot And Holy: Can We Serve Two Masters?

[00:04:25]:

If you're tired of fighting body image the world's way, I want to encourage you and remind you with the truth of scripture that you are seen, you are known, and you are loved no matter what your size or shape. Here, the pressure is off. If you're looking for real talk, biblical encouragement, and regular reminders that God loves you and you're not alone, You've come to the right place. I hope you enjoy today's show, and, hey, tell a friend about it. 

Hey, friends. I don't think I introduced myself at the beginning of the show, but this is Heather Creekmore, and I'm glad you're listening to compared to who today. Today, our question is, do we wanna be hot or do we wanna be holy? And if you're like me, your answer is, I want both.

[00:05:21]:

Of course. I want to be hot and holy. In fact, I wanna be hot for Jesus because then other people will be drawn to Jesus if I'm hot and a Jesus lover. I mean, just think about, like, Tim Tebow. It worked for him. But, my friend, I think the question really needs to be one that we ask our hearts. The question is, what do we desire most? You know, the Bible tells us that we can't love both God and money. And I think the same applies to beauty or the perfect body size.

[00:06:07]:

I'm using beauty kind of as a term to just capture all of our body image issues. But can we love both God and beauty? I don't know. I mean, we can love God's beauty. Okay? So some of you are loophole finders, and you found that one already. Good for you. Gold star. But that's not what I'm talking about. We can't love them both because scripture tells us in Matthew 6:24 that you cannot serve God and mammon.

[00:06:41]:

The verse reads, no one can serve two masters for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else, he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. Or the New Living Translation says, no one can serve two masters, for you will hate one and love the other. You will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money. Now I looked up what mammon is because that's like the old King James word. But mammon was a biblical term used to describe riches, often used to describe material wealth. Right? And so you may be thinking, what does material wealth have to do with my body image or the amount of beauty that I crave? Well, my friend, let me tell you about how our world works and how we've been programmed.

[00:07:43]:

Right? We have been programmed to believe that our value, right, that's a money word and an identity word, our value is based on our appearance. Our value is connected to our beauty or body size. We have been programmed to believe that our stock price, if you will, our riches are in our ability to look beautiful. And so I think it is a very accurate interpretation of the same scripture to say that when we make beauty our wealth, when beauty is what our stock is in, what our value is in, because we know if we have beauty, we'll have more trading power. We'll get more attention. We'll get more approval. Maybe we'll get a better job, or we'll get men to notice us, whatever it may be.

[00:08:47]:

When we love our beauty because of what it does for us, we cannot, at the same time, love God. We cannot serve two masters. And that is the hot or holy question. Do you really wanna be hot? Do you really want to be more beautiful? Is that where your treasure is? Is that where you want to be invested? Or do you wanna be more like Jesus? Now crazy thing is, scripture tells us in Isaiah that Jesus was not attractive. He was not physically a good looking man. And so, you know, their culture was different. I don't think they put quite the same emphasis on physical beauty as we do. And, of course, it would have been a little different because they didn't have, like, magazines and Internet and different ways to see a standard of beauty set up for them.

[00:09:52]:

Like, this is what a hot person looks like. Like, we have that. We have those messages coming at us every single day. They didn't. And so I would venture to guess that there was a little bit wider range of what was attractive back then, but scripture still tells us that Jesus wasn't. He was not in that range of attractiveness. So when Jesus drew people to himself, it was despite his appearance. Right? I don't know.

Lies From The Beauty Idol

[00:10:23]:

How does that strike you? When I hear that and then someone says, so don't you wanna be like Jesus? My first reaction is like, well, not really. Not in that way. Thanks. Like, I would rather draw people to myself because I'm so beautiful and then play the Jesus card then be like, yes. And you know what makes me shine from the inside out? It's my Jesus, and therefore, accomplish hot and holy together. But friends, I don't think that happens very often. I think instead there is that tug of war between the beauty idol that tells us, if you just follow me, oh, you'll be so beautiful. And then after you get there, okay, then you can do that whole Jesus thing.

[00:11:11]:

But just follow me until you get hot enough, and then you can rest. Right? That's the real promise. I've talked about this before on the show. But the real promise is rest. You just do one more diet, one more diet that works. You lose the X number of pounds, and then you can rest in your hot body, and then you can be all about Jesus. But friends, that's not the way the promise goes. And in fact, the idol always lets us down, and anyone you know who's met their weight loss goal, they may be content there for a couple weeks, I don't know, maybe even a month or so.

[00:11:48]:

But you never get to rest. The only way you're gonna keep that weight off is if you keep following the plan. Right? Because, otherwise, you've gotta be a unicorn to keep weight off after a diet for anything more than 2 years. So there's not really rest there. The only one who actually offers us rest is Jesus. And I'll have more on this right after this quick break. Hey, friend. Are you sick and tired of stressing over your body? Are you to the point where you are ready to do something? Okay.

[00:12:30]:

You've tried all the diets, you've tried all the wellness programs, you've tried all the exercise programs, and you still aren't comfortable in your own skin. And my friend, we need to work together. Now let me be clear. This isn't a magic pill you're gonna take. It's not another diet. But in my group coaching sessions, I try to put you on a path to freedom that you can continue to walk for the rest of your life. We have such a great time in group coaching. I bring women together, and, hopefully, in a lot of cases, they've been able to stay friends after the group sessions are over.

[00:13:14]:

So you leave group coaching not with just with a renewed sense of who you are in Christ and how to overcome your body image issues, but also with friends to walk along beside you as you continue to walk this path going forward. I hope you'll consider group coaching. If you wanna know more, go to compare to dot me and go to the coaching tab, and you can find out all about it. Session start in September, so sign up soon. I know it's gonna fill up. So head on over to compare do dot me, look for the coaching tab and sign up today. I'm excited for the chance to work with you. Okay, my friend.

Truth From Scripture

[00:14:01]:

So we're talking about whether or not you wanna be hot or holy. And let's just go to what the Bible says on this topic. Right? I am hard pressed to find a Bible verse that says, go ye therefore and make yourself a hot nation. Have bodies that are physically attractive to men so the culture can praise you for your physical beauty. Like, friends, there is no verse in the Bible like that. In fact, there are more verses about letting your beauty be what's in your heart. Right? And letting your beauty not be outward adornment, outward physical looks, but making your heart beautiful. Right? That's really the only kinda hotness the Bible teaches on.

[00:14:49]:

But then there's holiness. The Bible talks a lot about holiness. And holiness is something that we don't talk about a lot because that's just a weird word. It feels so unattainable. Like, we know God is holy, but it feels really hard to think that we could be holy. In fact, I don't know if you've ever even thought about, like, what does it actually mean to be holy? It's an attribute of God, but can it be an attribute of us? So let me read you a couple definitions I found. In the Webster's dictionary, the definition of holy is exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness. Okay.

[00:15:29]:

Well, that's obviously talking about god. Right? We can't be holy as one worthy of complete devotion, as one perfect in goodness and righteousness. Okay. But what about holiness as applied to us? Well, the book of Leviticus talks about being holy. And what the word from the ancient Hebrew means there is it means to be sanctified or consecrated or dedicated, or I like this one, separated from the world and worldliness. So what does it really mean to be holy? It means to be set apart, to be separate. Can I take that one step further? It means to think about things and see things in a way closer to how God sees them than how the world sees and defines them. Right? And all throughout scripture, we can read commands to be holy.

[00:16:33]:

Right? 2nd Corinthians 7:1. Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. Of course, we're not going to be perfect here on this earth, but what's our goal supposed to be? We're trying to be more like Jesus, more set apart, not more like the world and not operating in the world's economy, which is hotness gets you noticed. Hotness gets you approval. Hotness gives you control. Hotness gets you likes. Right? God's economy is completely different. Here's another verse.

[00:17:18]:

1st Peter 1:15-16. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do for it is written, be holy because I am holy. Here's another in Hebrews 12:14. Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy. And then, oh, get this, my friends. Without holiness, no one will see the Lord. What? Doesn't that say without hotness? No one will see the lord? No, my friends. No.

[00:17:50]:

There is no biblical mandate. We take that scripture to make your body the temple and we turn it into a shaming tactic for any woman that weighs more than a 100 lbs, that you have to look a certain way in order to draw people to your temple, and that's what taking care of your temple means. No. No. No. That is not what that verse means. No one will see the Lord in you, not dependent on what you weigh, dependent on your holiness. Here's another one, Psalm 119:9.

Working On Our Heart Beauty

[00:18:23]:

How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. If we wanna keep our hearts pure, if we wanna keep our vision of beauty pure, we have to live according to what scripture says, not according to what Glamour and Cosmo and Entertainment Tonight and Entertainment Weekly and Netflix and Instagram say. Here's another one, 2nd Timothy 1:9. He has saved us and called us to a holy life, Not because of anything we have done, but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time. He's called us to, it doesn't say beauty. It doesn't say to pursue our weight loss goals. He's called us to finally lose the weight once and for all so we can do something for him.

[00:19:19]:

No. None of those things are in that verse. He's called us to a holy life. And then let's just go to Psalm 139 for a second. Right? And it's so fascinating because these two verses come after the verses, Psalm 139:14, where we talk about being fearfully and wonderfully made. And this is a little bit of a pet peeve of mine because I feel like too often we, like, use the fearfully wonderfully made verses as like, hey. See, look. God made us all hot.

[00:19:47]:

Like, we're all hot because we're fearfully wonderfully made. And “hot”, just in and of itself, my friends… and maybe the word hot doesn't resonate with you, maybe you're from a different generation where that weird word is just strange, and that's okay. I wanna acknowledge that. But I'm using the word hot because it is such a culture word. Right? Such a culture buzzword. Right? What is hot? There's no, like, set definition of what makes someone hot. It really is rather subjective as to whether or not you think someone is hot or whether or not you think they are not.

[00:20:24]:

Right? But Psalm 139:14 says, we're fearfully and wonderfully made. And then after that is, my favorite part of that whole chapter. Psalm 139:23-24 says, search me, god, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. Oh, friends. If we really wanna be beautiful in a way that matters, if we wanna be beautiful to the one who matters, which is God, if we want him to look at us and see beauty. Right? And, fortunately, Jesus has already covered that for us because there's no way he could look at us and see beauty any other way without Jesus.

[00:21:18]:

But we have to focus more on our hearts than on our hips. Friends, we worry so much about the food we put in our mouths and the exercise we do and the clothes we wear. But are we getting our hearts shaped up to meet God someday? Are we worried about our holiness? Are we worried at all about trying to look more like Jesus? Is that even on our radar screen? Do we care about holiness, Or do we care about what other people think of our physical bodies? Now friend, listen to me with lots and lots of grace. It is hard. It is hard in this visual age. It is hard when you know that your husband has access to see lots of different things, and you feel like you're in competition with those other things. It is hard not to focus on being visually stimulating, being visually attractive. Because it seems like that's what gets the most attention.

[00:22:32]:

That's what has the most trading value in our culture. My friends, this life isn't the end game. Right? This is just the dress rehearsal. Someday, we're gonna go get to stand before Jesus, I hope. And he's gonna ask about our hearts. Right? He already knows. But what's in your heart? And, you know, I think God has a purpose and a plan for each of us. I also think God knows exactly how he made us physically, and he's not surprised by that weight you wear.

Litany Of Humility for Dieters

[00:23:13]:

He's not like, oh, if only she would lose the weight, then I could use her for my purpose. No. Not at all. I don't think that's what he's saying. Instead, I wonder if he's saying, my dear one, I'm not waiting for you to get your body ready to serve me. I just want your heart to be ready. So one of my clients attends Catholic church, and she sent me this litany of humility. It's a Catholic prayer.

[00:23:46]:

Oh, friends. It is so, so good. And I'm gonna read part of it to you, and then I'm also gonna read to you the way my friend, Erin Todd of the Intuitive Eating For Christian Women podcast, the way she rewrote it to be specifically for dieters. But let me read the original to you first. 

Oh, Jesus, meek and humble of heart, hear me. From the desire of being esteemed, deliver me, oh, Jesus. From the desire of being loved, deliver me, oh, Jesus. From the desire of being extolled, deliver me, oh Jesus.

[00:24:19]:

From the desire of being honored, deliver me, oh Jesus. From the desire of being praised, deliver me, oh Jesus. From the desire of being preferred to others, deliver me, oh Jesus. From the desire of being consulted, deliver me. From the desire of being approved, deliver me. From the fear of being humiliated, deliver me. From the fear of being despised, deliver me. From the fear of suffering rebukes, deliver me.

[00:24:51]:

From the fear of being forgotten, deliver me. It goes on. There's a few more lines. But, friends, this spoke to my soul. I thought this was such a beautiful, beautiful prayer. Because too often, I know what's going on in my heart, and it's not beautiful according to God's standard. It is more often the me wanting to be esteemed, wanting to be loved, wanting to be honored, wanting to be praised. I want to be preferred to others.

[00:25:25]:

I want to be consulted and approved of. I'm scared of being humiliated. I'm scared of being forgotten. This prayer exposes those things in my heart that are actually contrary to my holiness. These are areas in which I need to grow. And how often do I focus on just changing my body, or changing my shape, or worrying about my weight, or my hair or my skin or the aging issue. And I think these are the areas in which our savior really wants us to grow. Okay.

[00:26:05]:

So here's how my friend, Erin Todd, rewrote this. 

Oh, Jesus, meek and humble of heart, hear me. From the desire of being valued for my appearance or performance, deliver me, oh Jesus. From the desire of achieving my goal weight, deliver me, oh Jesus. From the desire of being loved by others, deliver me, oh Jesus. From the desire of being seen as beautiful, deliver me, oh Jesus. From the desire of being considered healthy, oh, deliver me, oh Jesus. From the desire of being praised, deliver me.

[00:26:38]:

From the desire of being approved, deliver me. From the fear of not being good enough, deliver me. From the fear of being judged for my appearance or performance, deliver me. From the fear of being unhealthy, deliver me. From the fear of being excluded or alone, deliver me. From the fear of not fitting into culture's ideal, deliver me, oh Jesus. From the fear of being humiliated, deliver me. From the fear of being mistreated, deliver me.

[00:27:08]:

That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. That others may be valued more than I, Jesus grant me the grace to desire it. That in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease. Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. And it goes on. There's a few more lines, friends. You can go ahead and find the link to it in the show notes. I think it might be one that you're gonna wanna print and post somewhere.

Whose Opinion Do We Care About?

[00:27:38]:

Because if you're like me, these are all areas in which I could grow in my holiness. What would it really be like to sincerely be able to go through life wanting others to be extolled, honored, approved of, and not really worrying about whether or not I am? Not worrying about whether or not I meet culture’s standard. Not worrying about I'm gonna take this to a place that's gonna really resonate with some of you, whether or not other people think I'm healthy. Right? Because that we're so afraid of that people are gonna judge us and decide that we're unhealthy, that they'll think bad things about us. Oh, no. I don't want people to think bad things about me.

[00:28:18]:

Like, I feel you. I feel the same way. But why do we care more about what other people think of us than what Jesus thinks of us? Shouldn't I be more concerned about whether or not Jesus thinks I'm unhealthy spiritually than whether or not my neighbor who does CrossFit and OPTAVIA and all these other things and is totally obsessed with her physical body, whether or not she thinks I'm healthy, which is more important? Oh, friend. It's a hard, hard thing to sit with. And you may have to listen to this episode again. And you may have to listen to this episode again and then spend some time in prayer. Maybe it's a prayer of repentance saying, oh, God. I see this in such a different way now.

[00:29:00]:

I am so sorry. Please forgive me, Lord. Please forgive me for all these ways. I have been striving to be hot instead of striving to be holy. And, you know, the good news is, my friends, He's not a scolding God. He's not a shaming God. He is faithful to forgive us. He sees us as flawless because of what Jesus did for us.

[00:29:26]:

There's nothing more we could do to be any more accepted, approved of, or loved by God. Jesus did it all. But we do have to recognize when we're following the wrong path, when our hearts have turned away from him. And so my hope and prayer for you today is that maybe, maybe, maybe this sparked a little tinge, twinge. What's the right word there? I don't know. That might be a colloquialism. But you felt a little zing of conviction perhaps? Or maybe at a minimum, this just made you think, am I striving for holiness or am I striving to be hotter? That's the thought I leave you with today. And, hey, you probably need to process this with someone.

[00:30:20]:

Okay? So if you need an individual coaching call, reach out. But I think you can probably find a friend. Have her listen. See what she thinks. Okay. Maybe not your friend that does the extreme diet and all the extreme exercise right now. She might not be the friend to process with yet. She might not be at this point in her journey right now.

[00:30:40]:

But share it with a friend. Say, hey, would you guys listen to this? And let's just talk about it sometime. And you may find that you end up having a friend to help you stay accountable and to encourage you because you're able to go deep on these issues that we don't talk about enough. So, anyway, I hope you're encouraged, if not a little convicted, but more so encouraged. There's so much more to this life than reaching our goal weight or having our ideal body, my friend. And we miss out on so much when those are our primary focus. Okay. Well, I hope something in today's episode has helped you stop comparing and, yes, start living for Jesus.

[00:31:25]:

That's all for today. Bye bye.