How Do You Know and Feel That God Loves You? Jonah 2:8 Part 2/2 [Podcast Transcript]

Title: How Do You Know and Feel That God Loves You? Jonah 2:8 Part 2/2

Podcast Date: September 27, 2024

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Description 

Host Heather Creekmore tackles the deep-seated issue of truly feeling and knowing that God loves us. She begins by questioning whether listeners feel God’s love beyond just an intellectual understanding of it. Heather suggests that if more people genuinely felt secure in God’s love, concerns about body image would diminish significantly.

Heather explores the disconnect between head knowledge and heart knowledge regarding God's love. She emphasizes the importance of understanding and internalizing God's steadfast love. Heather explains that chasing idols—whether they be body image, health, or other people—hinders the ability to feel God’s unconditional love.

Heather advocates for confessing and repenting from idol worship to clear the ‘dust and dirt’ that clouds one’s perception of God's love. She urges listeners to visualize Jesus with them, embodying a loving and compassionate presence, free from disappointment or anger.

She delves deeper into the concept of acceptance and approval from God versus humans. Heather underlines that individuals often seek validation by altering their bodies to gain others' approval, a futile effort since true safety and acceptance come only from God.

Heather reminds listeners that God’s love is both spoken and demonstrated through Jesus Christ’s sacrifice, highlighting the importance of embracing this truth above societal pressures regarding body image. 

Learn more about how Compared to Who? can help you find body image freedom and healing by visiting: https://www.improvebodyimage.com

Learn more about Heather's 40-Day Body Image Workbook here: https://www.improvebodyimage.com/40-Day-Body-Image-Workbook-Christian

Outline

00:00 Intro

04:48 Idolatry And Conditional Love

08:38 Good Things Turned Into Ultimate Things

12:05 Seeing God’s Love Clearly

15:54 Visualization Exercise: Jesus With Us

19:15 Chasing Safety From Rejection & Pain

23:53 Words And Demonstration Of Love

[00:00:02]:

Hey, friend. Heather Creekmore here. I'm glad you're listening to the Compare To Who podcast today. Question for you. Do you know God loves you? Okay. Maybe, like, your quick answer is yes, of course. Like, Jesus loves me.

[00:00:16]:

This I know. Like, I know God loves me, like, in my head. But do you feel like God loves you? Because the truth is, I think if more of us really felt and really knew God's love, we wouldn't really be so concerned about how our bodies look or what shape or size they are. Wouldn't we feel completely confident if we were 100% sure of God's love? I kinda think we would. So that's where we're going today. I'm glad you're here for it. Hey. I wrote this book called the 40 Day Body Image Workbook.

[00:00:57]:

And there are so many good little nuggets throughout it, and it has been just a complete joy to walk a group of about 60 women through it this fall. We'll start another group. We're calling it the 40 day journey. I need to get the title right, but we're calling it the 40 day journey, and we'll start again in January. So just kinda put that on your radar to join us for that 40 day journey when it starts again in January. But for now, if you're anxious to just get to work on your body image issues, If you've been listening and listening and listening, but change isn't really happening, I've got 2 recommendations for you. Recommendation 1, go grab that book and work through it. Recommendation 2, consider joining us in coaching.

[00:01:39]:

We start mid October. We'd love to have you be a part. You can drop us a note, [email protected], and I'd be happy to tell you or someone on my team will be happy to tell you all about what we're offering this fall to help you find body image healing. Now let's get to today's show. Welcome to Compared To Who, the podcast to help you make peace with your body so you can savor God's rest and feel his love. If you're tired of fighting body image the world's way, compare to who is the show for you. You've likely heard lots of talk about loving your body, but my goal is different. Striving to fall in love with stretch marks and cellulite is a little silly to me.

[00:02:23]:

Instead, I want to encourage you and remind you with the truth of scripture that you are seen, you are known, and you are loved no matter what your size or shape. Here, the pressure is off. If you're looking for real talk, biblical encouragement, and regular reminders that God loves you and you're not alone, you've come to the right place. I hope you enjoy today's show, and, hey, tell a friend about it. 

So one thing that comes up over and again when I'm working with clients is this whole concept of, I have head knowledge around certain things and believe them, like the concept that god loves me. It's just it can't get to my heart. It's like the space between head and heart that, I don't know, 2, 3 feet is, like, way too far to travel. And I just can't get this head knowledge, in some cases, like, you know, the rote memory of, like, verses, you know, for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, John 3:16.

[00:03:23]:

You know, there's verses, you know, and yet it just kinda feels like it's, I don't know, like in this bubble outside of you that you can't tap into because it's not really penetrating your heart. And beyond that, like your beliefs, It's not speaking back to the lies that you tell yourself about your identity and who you are. Like, it's just not functioning in your life for lack of a better way to put it. The head knowledge isn't doing any good. It's like in this little vault in your head, and you can access it. But you're not accessing it in a way that really impacts your struggles and your day to day living. So last time we talked about my life verse. Right? And that was kind of a funny little thing.

[00:04:14]:

Right? Because no one has a life verse from Jonah. But go listen to the last episode. It was on Jonah 2:8, why Jonah 2:8 is my life verse. But we talked about that verse, and I hope maybe you've even spent some time trying to memorize that verse. Those who pay attention to vain idols forsake all hope of steadfast love. And in the episode, I read it to you in 3 different translations, choose the one you like best. But that concept of steadfast love, that's super appealing. Right? Like, love that never ends.

[00:04:48]:

Love that is not dependent on what I do, what I say, how I look, how I eat, what size I wear, whether or not I'm having a good hair day or a bad hair day, whether or not I'm having a sweaty hot flash day or a temperature is normal day. It doesn't matter. I am still loved steadfastly, And that's what we all want. Deep inside every one of our hearts, we want a love like that. We want a love we can count on. A love we can be sure of. A love that is unconditional in a way most of us have never understood. Right? Because even the best parents, even the most godly in the world, conscientious, I don't know, educated.

[00:05:47]:

I don't know what other words you would use, but even awesome parents sometimes fail and make their love seem conditional. They get a little too excited about a good report card or a little too excited about weight loss. And as children or teenagers or even adult children, we internalize that as, oh, they love me more when, and we create our whole identity around... Oh, I need to do more of that because that's what gets me praise from mom and dad. That's what will get me praise from others. If I could just be more of that, that is the way to get love. And we learn from our parents about earning love. And we also learn the hard way that earning love really stinks.

[00:06:48]:

It's hard on our hearts. It's really frustrating because sometimes you can feel like you did everything right to earn the love and not get it. Right? You can still face rejection. Oh, it's so hard. And so what we all want is this steadfast love. But why don't we feel it? I mean, God's promises to us. You know, I can rattle through a bunch of verses about how God loves us. And like I said, you probably know them too.

[00:07:18]:

Why don't we feel God's steadfast love? Let's go back to Jonah 2:8. Those who cling to worthless idols, those who cling to vain idols, those who pursue vain idols, whatever translation you prefer. It's our idolatry that stands in the way. In fact, for me, I know I really thought my best chance at feeling the kind of love that I really wanted to feel would come from, for lack of a better way to put it, doing the things that my idols told me I needed to do in order to be more loved. So my body image idol told me I needed to be a certain size and look a certain way, and then I would be able to fully feel love. And it's so crazy y'all because I think sometimes these idols even tell us I mean, what a lie this is. Right? They even tell us that God will love us more if if we get the look, if we just eat a clean diet, you know, if we can just get our act together, manage our anger, like, you know, get rid of our addictions, if we can just clean it up, our idols tell us when even God will love us more. What a lie that is.

[00:08:38]:

Friend, that's a total lie. And if you've ever believed that, I hope today you'll see that so far from the truth. That is not the message of the gospel. In fact, back to John 3:16, it's like, wow. We were yet sinners. Christ died for us. He's not waiting for you to get your act together. He knows how hard that would be, how insurmountable a task that would be.

[00:09:02]:

Like, there is no way you can get your act together to be holy enough for him, and that's why Jesus had to die. So why don't we feel that love? Oh, these idols. Oh, and they can be good things. Right? I talk about this in the 40 day body image workbook. You know, like your idol might be your husband. I know I made mine an idol because I thought he was gonna save me. I thought he was gonna love me so well that I would never ever feel a loneliness or an aching or a longing for any other kind of love because I would have his. And he couldn't do it.

[00:09:40]:

He fell short because he's human. We can make our children idols. We can dream about how wonderful it's gonna feel to have these kids and we love them so much. And we expect them to fill that emptiness, that aching, that longing. We expect them to take care of all of that emotional unrest around our identity. And then it's just hard. Parenting is hard and it lets us down. And the idol says, well, just you're not doing good enough then.

[00:10:17]:

You just need to do better and then you'll feel all those things and it never works. Oh, friend. These idols that we create, even okay… Let me just throw one more in here. Even the idol of health. Right? So there's this idol that we've talked about a lot on the show of beauty and body image idolatry. Right? That idol says you need to have a certain body size. But we're moving away from that as a culture.

[00:10:42]:

Right? Although, I don't know. In some ways we're moving back towards it with the rise of Ozempic, but that's a whole another episode. But a lot of the conversations you hear now are not people saying do this so you can get thin. They're saying do this so you can be healthy. And health, of course, sounds like a much more noble goal than a thin body size. Right? So it just seems like, well, that can't be an idol. That's a good thing. Health is a good thing.

[00:11:06]:

Right? And husbands are good things, and children are good things. Right? But it can so easily become an idol that promises you that it will save you, that it will give you long life, that it will give you a life where you never have to suffer, that it will take away pain or save you from pain forever if you just do all the things right. That idol can't keep that promise. And when you cling to that idol, when you cling to any of these idols, what are you doing? You are forsaking your hope of steadfast love. 

So the first thing you absolutely have to do, if you're not feeling God's love, if you're wondering, am I really loved? You maybe have that head knowledge and not the heart knowledge. The first thing you have to do, friend, is unclench your fist from those idols. You have to let them go.

[00:12:05]:

And it's really not just letting them go, friend. Like, you have to confess. You have to repent. And we talked about that a little bit last time. But you have to say, god, I'm sorry. I have made this person, this thing, this ideal. Our ideals become our idols. I'm sorry that I've put this on a pedestal above you.

[00:12:24]:

I'm sorry that I really kinda thought this thing could save me for now or this thing could save me better than you can, Lord. And you have to repent and confess that. And I think that's step 1. Like, I picture it almost as if there's this, like, dark gray cloud. I don't think about Pig Pen from the Charlie Brown, like, old cartoons. But he's, like, surrounded by this, like, dust. Right? And that dust makes everything fuzzy. And I think like pigpen, when we have all these idols, we are in this cloud of dust and dirt.

[00:13:05]:

And we might have all those answers inside the cloud of dust and dirt, but we can't see ourselves or the world clearly when those idols are swirling around us. So thing 1 is confess those idols, repent. And then I think what happens is that dust and dirt dissipates and everything becomes clearer. And that's step 1, because I still think there's work to be done around feeling and believing like God loves us. Now step 2, I just want you to think about, like, God's love is so magnanimous. God's love is so big. Like, our human brains can't even really quantify it or qualify it. Like, we just can't even get our heads around it.

[00:13:51]:

Right? It's too big for that. But when I talk to women about, like, whether or not they believe God loves them, it's normally a mixed bag. So most of them quickly will say, yes. Of course. I know God loves me. And then I'll maybe follow-up with a question like, but do you feel like God loves you? And the response is a lot of times something like, maybe, but I think he's disappointed with me. I think he's mad at me. You know, I think he's upset that this has happened.

[00:14:24]:

I mean, in some cases, women I talk to, right, we're talking about body image and weight stuff a lot. It's, I think he's disappointed with me that I've gained weight. I think he's upset with me that my body looks like this. And they put into the equation of God's love these extra conditions that don't need to be there and were never there. Right? God did not choose you because you met all his criteria, and you're just letting him down in this one arena. I mean, news flash, you don't meet any of his criteria. You're letting him down in every arena. And yet because of his great grace and in his grace alone, he chose you to love.

[00:15:20]:

He chose you, so He's not disappointed. He's not angry at you. Right now, of course, when we sin, we break the heart of God. It's true. But in God's grace through what Jesus did on the cross, if you are a believer and follower of Jesus, and if you have said, I'm going to follow Jesus, you are forgiven of those sins. We still need to repent and confess, but he's forgiven you of your sins in the past, your present sins, and the many ways you're gonna sin in the future. He loves you. So let me ask you to do something right now.

[00:15:54]:

It's a little visualization kind of thing, And I hope that it will help you if you really wrestle with feeling like God loves you. I want you, if you're in a place where you can close your eyes now if you're driving or walking, maybe don't close your eyes on this one. But I want you to just visualize Jesus with you right now. Because theologically, my friend, he is with you right now. Right? If you're taking a walk, he's walking right beside you. Right? If you're sitting on the couch, he's with you. If you're washing dishes, he's with you. If you're juggling 2 babies and trying to feed 1 and play with the other, he's with you right now.

[00:16:37]:

But I want you instead of just kinda knowing that and acknowledging that, I want you to try to look at Jesus's face. I want you to picture his face. What is the expression on his face right now? And I hope, my friends, I hope the expression you see on his face is a smile. Maybe if you're in a tough spot right now, maybe it's compassionate, like, just a look of, I'm sorry. This is so hard. Just an understanding, warm, loving look. But I want you to understand that he's pleased with you. Again, not because of your merits, not because you've been able to do enough to make him happy.

[00:17:23]:

He's pleased with you because he loves you, and he has chosen you, and you have chosen him in return. Right? Although, you know, John tells us we didn't choose him. He chose us. Right? But then we respond to him in obedience. Right? We say we're going to follow him and he loves you. He's a good father. He loves you. And so, friend, if you can't see Jesus with you with a smile on his face or even a warm, loving look on his face.

[00:17:59]:

I think there's work to do around this. A lot of times, maybe we are confusing Jesus with a parent. You know, maybe there's trauma. Right? Maybe you had a dad that was really abusive or a mom who was really mean. Like and it's hard for you to picture God as a good father and picture Jesus loving you unless you've earned it, or or maybe there's not even a possibility of you feeling you like, you could earn it. So if that's the case, if you're stuck there, like, reach out. We can talk. We can do sessions.

[00:18:34]:

Join one of our groups. We can help you around that. But believing that God loves you, being able to see him with you smiling at you, approving of you, from that plays a big role in actually being able to be free from body image issues. And here's how. Right? Those of us with body image issues, a lot of us are approval seekers. Right? We want to fix our bodies because we want other people to like us or approve of us, or maybe we've convinced ourselves it's not even about other people. It's just about us. We wanna approve of us.

[00:19:15]:

We wanna like us. Right? And, really, what's the motivation under all of that? We wanna feel safe. We wanna make sure we're not gonna be rejected. We wanna know we can walk into a room and people will accept us. And that's all really about safety. Maybe a little bit of comfort too, but it's feeling safe from rejection. And really, we could take that one step further. It's trying to protect ourselves from suffering.

[00:19:45]:

Right? If everyone approves, if everyone accepts me, then I won't feel pain. It won't hurt. So if I can just get all the variables right with the way I look or maybe the way I act and the way I am, if I can just get the formula just right, then when I go out in the world, I'll never have to worry about feeling pain because I'll be protected from pain. It's so funny. It's almost like armor. Right? I mean, ladies, you know this. In some ways, it's like our makeup is war paint, and getting the right outfit or body size is a suit of armor that we believe will protect us from rejection. And, yeah, it doesn't work.

[00:20:34]:

Right? I mean, just look at the magazine covers, watch the tabloid stuff go by on your news feeds. Right? You know it's not true. The most beautiful women in the world get cheated on, get broken up with, get rejected. In fact, the most beautiful women in the world post their pictures on Instagram and have people say really nasty things in response to them. You can never please all the people all the time. You cannot get a look that will make you immune to criticism. In fact, I read something on Instagram yesterday, and it was something like, Jesus was actually perfect, and people hated him. So why do we believe that if we were perfect, people wouldn't hate us? Have you ever thought about that? But here's the thing.

[00:21:25]:

So if we put so much energy into this. Right? Like, so much energy. I just have to be the right size. I have to, like, look the right way. I have to just get all this right. What if we really believed that God already accepted and approved and loved us? I mean, I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with trying to change your body. Like, that's not a sin in and of itself. But it is a sin when you believe that you can change your body in a way that will protect you when, really, only Jesus can do that.

[00:22:11]:

You can't lean on your body as your savior. Only Jesus is your savior. Right? And so what would it look like even if you have a hashtag body goal, what would it look like to pursue that goal from the perspective that you are already 100% fully loved and accepted? I tell you what it does. It takes the pressure off for one thing. Right? So then instead of, oh, shoot. I've got 6 weeks before the wedding or the cruise or the vacation or the event or the reunion, whatever it is, instead of that, like, pressure cooker situation, oh, I've gotta do all kinds of crazy things because I've got 6 weeks before this thing. It should take the pressure off. Nope.

[00:23:01]:

I'm already accepted fully and loved by God. I can show up there just as I am. It's not a contest. And I can continue to work on maybe adding healthy habits to my life. That's all fine. But when you do that from a place of being fully loved and accepted, it takes the timelines off. It removes this urgency and, really, it answers this lie that unless you do x y z, you will be rejected at this thing, or you will not feel good at this thing, or your vacation will be ruined. Like, all of the different things.

[00:23:42]:

No. No. No. No. No. You just talk back to that and you say, no. I'm already fully accepted and loved in Christ. There is nothing more I could do, no amount of weight I could lose or gain.

[00:23:53]:

There is nothing else I can do to be more loved in him. I am safe. I am secure. I can show up at the thing and just be me, and I can love God and love others well in the body I have right now today. I don't have to be any different in order to save myself from disapproval or rejection because I know God already approves and has accepted me. Let me just close with this. Okay. How do you know that a person loves you? Right? Your husband or, I don't know, friend, parent.

[00:24:32]:

How do you know that someone loves you? There's only 2 ways. They either say it. Right? And okay. Now sometimes, we all maybe experience this too. Someone will say they love you, but then they don't act like they love you. And so there's a conflict there. Right? But for most of us, right, they will say it and they will demonstrate it. That's how you know you are loved.

[00:24:57]:

And so in the case of those of you who are married, right, hopefully, your husband said he loved you, and he also demonstrated that he loved you. And part of his demonstration of love, I mean, for those of you that are maybe newly married and doubting where you're at, your marriage is, he chose you. Right? He chose you. He asked you to marry him, and that is an evidence of his love for you. Right? So it's spoken and it's demonstrated. And we believe that. Normally, if someone speaks it and demonstrates it, we can say, yep, I know they love me. Oh, but friend. Go take out your Bible. Right? God says it over and over again.

[00:25:40]:

He says he loves you, and boy did he demonstrate it. He demonstrated his love for you by sending his only son to die on your behalf. It's a death that Jesus didn't deserve. It's a death we deserved. But he sent Jesus to die in our place, in your place instead of you. He chose you. He rescued you no matter what you've done, no matter what your past looks like. Nope.

[00:26:10]:

He said, she's the one. I want her. I love her, and she's worth it. I'm gonna send my son to die for her because I wanna rescue her. I want her to be with me for all of eternity. Friend, he said it, he's demonstrated it. He loves you. Get rid of the idols.

[00:26:31]:

Picture Jesus walking beside you in the warm look of love on his face, And speak the gospel to yourself. When you're tempted to doubt God's love, just say over and again to yourself, no. God loves me. Repeat John 3:16 if you need to. Right? God loves me. Jesus died for me, and that is my confidence, not in getting a better dress size or jean size or the hairdo or bra size. No. My confidence is in that and in that alone.

[00:27:10]:

I'm not gonna boast in my accomplishments. I'm not gonna boast in the way I can change my body through dieting. I will only boast in Christ and his love. Friend, I pray that encouraged you today. If you need help, reach out [email protected]. Go to improve body image.com. If you're brand new to the show, hey, welcome.

[00:27:32]:

Glad you're here. I hope you know that God loves you. We've got lots of great resources for you at improve body image dot com. This is episode, like, I don't know, 400 and something. So there are oodles and oodles of good podcast episodes to encourage you if you struggle with your body image. So I hope you'll check them out. We make recommendations for you. Improve body image.com/starthere.

[00:27:54]:

You can find our, our best shows to start with and just how to engage with the ministry. Get on our mailing list so we can encourage you once a week, and you can learn about programs like the 40 day journey and coaching and other things that we offer to help you improve and heal your body image. Hey. Thanks for listening today. I hope something today has helped you stop comparing and start living. Bye bye.